catapult magazine

“Beer is proof that God exists, and that He wants us to be happy.”

-Ben Franklin

I have a confession. I was raised by a beer snob. At an early age I was taught that there was a continuum: cheap American light bears were at one end, Guiness at the other. In fact, your beer was a sign of your spiritual maturity. I was told that if we had a guest over and gave them a choice between a cheap light beer and a dark beer, well, if he or she chose a dark beer, you have an immediate friend, one with whom you could discuss good theology. And if they chose a cheap light beer, well, get out your Bible ’cause you have a lot of work to do!!

My dad loved beer, all kinds, but some were “horse’s piss” (e.g. Coors Light). I’ve never seen my dad drunk, but I’ve seen the delight in his eyes when he took the first sip of one his favorite beers.

As for me, I question whether it’s possible to be an “egalitarian” beer lover. It seems like a cop out. Also, I don’t see why those who make passionate distinctions between their beers should be accused of being “beer snobs.” Why not beer connoisseurs?

At the same time, at least for the moment, I do appreciate almost any beer, except for excessively bitter ones (a few in California are renowned, especially Stone’s “Arrogant Bastard” Ale), so there’s hope that I might be dissuaded from my elitist beer notions before my love of certain beers over others turns into an obsession.

“though I have not had a Guinness Stout in Ireland”

I had Guinness in Dublin and I really couldn’t tell the difference. Maybe if one only drinks Guinness they could tell but for most beer drinkers, even beer lovers like myself, you can’t tell the difference. The biggest difference for me was seeing all the beautiful Irish barmaids.

Great beers: Tingsao (Japenese import), Shiner Bock (Texan Beer), Beamish (smoother than Guiness?), Spaten’s Optimator, Guiness (of course, Extra Stout or Draught), Beckindale (Scottish ale, not exactly sure if that’s the right name), Karl Strauss (Californian). Some many beers, so little time!

1. I believe the barmaids prefer the term ‘wenches’.

2. What would Special Agent Dale Cooper say upon drinking a pint of the “cherry pie in a glass”?

3. I’ve also found that Brooklyn Brewery, http://www.brooklynbrewery.com, has some really nice brews.

I know the answer to number 2 because I typed the phrase out in my last post and then erased it because I wasn’t sure about the exact wording. I think it was: “That’s a damn fine cherry pie”. Is that correct?

i had my first pint of beer (outside the U.S.) yesterday; King Alfred’s bitter. it was at an inn in Winchester; i guess it is a local beer there or so the guy who leads the fieldtrips from CMRS said. nothing out of this world but very smooth and no aftertaste. oh and a memorable quote:

“it is beer, not alcohol, damnit” Dr. Alan Jones

Grant, I believe that is correct. I’ll have to watch the whole series again to be sure.

Beer “theology”:

I can’t find the exact quote (in my pile of disorganized books), but mystery writer/Dante scholar/and lay theologian Dorothy L. Sayers had a kind of “beer theology”. Here is the gist of what she said.

Background: She was developing a theology of work. Basically, Christians should do the best quality work possible. It isn’t enough to just want to eaarn money. One should aim to write the best book, paint the best picture, build the best house, or make the best beer possible.

After all, if Jesus “doeth all things well” why shouldn’t we?

She was also developing a theology for stockholders attending board meetings.

For example, it is n’t enough to want a big dividend from the company’s sale of beer..,. stockholders should also have pride in the quality of the product and ask loudly (and often)
“And what goes into the beer?”

I personally only drink a glass or two of wine each year, as I may well have some of my relatives’ predisposition to alcoholism.

For those of you who can handle alcohol responsibly, more power to you.

But I relate to a comment made above by Anton. I sneaked a sip or two of my dad’s good American brand beer when a kid (didn’t taste good). And my mother made reference to.beer well, resembling…a horse urinating. (One sight of a horse urinating burned an image in my mind that I as an adult never overcame.) Such are the power of visual images!!!

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline—it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”

—Frank Zappa