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sex before "marriage"?

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just wonderin
Dec 02 2002
08:35 pm

I was wondering what different peoples views were on sex before marriage are, and what the Bible has to say about it. Is it ok if you two as a couple make the vows of marriage together and mean it without actually going through the ceremony? This could be for a number of reasons should it be age, money, or other life circumstances? Do you have to go before the alter and spend the thousands of dollars on a wedding before you can become intimate with your significant other? Just something that I?ve dealt with and am dealing with in my life and was wondering others opinions on the subject. Also if it is a sin to do so before being married must you stop and wait?

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Norbert
Jun 15 2005
05:39 pm

I like that perspective Emilie and appreciate your candor. Is it possible that sexual contact could be a watchdog of our emotional relationships? Making oneself vulnerable physically (especially the first time!) can be just as uncomfortable but wonderful as making oneself vulnerable emotionally to one other person. The first time I broke down and cried in front of my then-girlfriend-now-wife was such an emotionally tender and passionate moment.
I do think that a couple should progress further and further emotionally, physically and spiritually at approximately the same rate. I think that’s what God wants—almost a throwback to sphere sovereignty. Should a young couple stop the physical relationship at … say heavy petting for two years until it’s convenient to have a church ceremony? Is that healthy for the relationship? What would the difference be health-wise for the relationship, for one or both of the members to refuse to be emotionally or spiritually intimate with that person until the wedding night? I know it sounds ridiculous, but I think that’s close to the “free sex” attitude that many of my high school students take.

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Stnwall64
Jun 16 2005
04:04 am

Thanks to this thread being brought back up I got a chance to review it again. (Yes I know, it’s 2 AM, still can’t break the 3rd shift routine!)

Few things though:

“And that may be a difference between viewing the Bible as the only scripture and viewing the Book of Mormon as a scriptural supplement, or final revelation, to the Bible.”

YIKES! NO! NO! NO! I’m not sure if you’re asserting that we believe the BoM to be superior to the Bible or not. We don’t. And we have a living prophet and twelve apostles so no final revelation, we have continuing revelation.

I didn’t do a good job on the necessity of marriage with the church so I’ll try again:

I’m gonna have to use some exclusive doctrine here, because I can’t make my point without doing so. As you know Norb, we have what we call priesthood, the power and authority of God delegated to man on earth to act in all things for the salvation of men. It is the power by which the gospel is preached;[b:f1d2690a3a] [i:f1d2690a3a][u:f1d2690a3a]by which the ordinances of salvation are performed so that they will be binding on earth and in heaven[/u:f1d2690a3a][/i:f1d2690a3a][/b:f1d2690a3a]. Two kinds, the Aronic and Melchizedek, but that’s another topic. Anyway, whenever the fullness of the gospel is on the earth, the Lord has agents to whom he gives power to bind on earth and seal eternally in the heavens. (Matt. 16:19; 18:18) This sealing power, restored in this dispensation by Elijah the prophet (D&C 2:1-3; 110:13-16 in case you’re curious) is the means whereby “All covenants, contracts bonds, obligations, oaths, vows, performances, connections, associations, or expectations” attain “efficacy, virtue, or force in and after the resurrection from the dead.” (D&C 132:7)

Get how important the church is in marriage? At least to me?