catapult magazine

I don’t have a remote control for my television, so I sit through the commercials. Kristin and I like to recite them to eachother (Kristin’s very good at the “Hello, I’m Carnie Wilson…” one about the benefits of “lypro-scopic gastro bypass surgery”). It’s gotten to the point now where I enjoy the commercials as much, if not more than the real shows. And I’ve developed some favorites and some not so favorites.

As far as the “not so favorites” go, I have noticed an unfortunate trend in commercials right now where the characters are able to see into the future and they foresee some crazy dangerous result and they change their minds about wanting this or that thing. BEST BUY is doing that with people who want to purchase something and then they look into the future and decide that they should get smaller speakers so they don’t break their neck at the party next weekend, for instance. I’ve seen this scenario played out in Washington Mutual ads and many beer commercials too. It’s the curse of the “maybe that wasn’t such a good idea” commercial. It just seems like a way to present a funny scenario for a product that really doesn’t lend itself to funny scenarios unless you force one on it.

Favorites: I have loved the Mittsubishi ads, the ones with the rockin’ guitar riff and dvsch-dvsch drums, where the car is seen through the windows of an office-apartment building from both the first and second floor and then up from the sewer and then from up above the skyscrapers. Those commercials aren’t being played right now, but the newest one is where the rockin’ guitar riff is interrupted by “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!” I actually call Kristin into the room when that one comes on. I am also smitten with the AT&T commercials that make telephones seem like a saving grace in the midst of crazy and uncertain times. I remember being moved by one that hinted at the tragedy of 9-11. It suggested that telephones help to keep people together in a world where we are so far apart. The music was some Nick Drake-sounding thing that made me want to cry. For some reason, I didn’t feel manipulated, but was willing to agree that telephones have a moral dimension as well. A product is not just a product, but can actually be helpful to my humanity.

What are some of your “favs” and “not so favs”?

a favorite right now: there’s an organization for responsible credit that has commercials about wise spending. they’re very well done and because they’re in the context of all of these other commercials that encourage us to spend, spend, spend, the surprise endings are actually surprising.

my least favorite trend right now is the commercial with the underlying message that “consumers of our product/service are stupid.” like that insurance commercial when the guy’s apartment is completely flooded, but he’s a smart shopper so he’s going to get more quotes before he gets the problem fixed. there are better examples, but i can’t think of any right now. if you watch for them, they’re all over the place.

another favorite is a locally produced commercial by a place that does “full body wraps”—apparently a way of helping people lose weight. they show a woman wrapped from head to toe in ace bandages wearing a huge olive green poncho over it all and working out on a stair stepper. it’s so absurd. you’d think a touched up “before and after” standard would make the point more effectively.

This is my favorite commercial:

“Here’s our jingle for Goldfish
We wrote a song for Goldfish

The wholesome snack that smiles back
until you bite their heads off!

See the fishes swimming…
Oh look the pretzel’s winning…

Didn’t that make you feel good about Goldfish?

Here’s our Jingle for Goldfish
Crunchy little Goldfish

Oh good we’re at the part
Where we show that they’re baked and not fried

Did you know they’re made
with real cheese
Even though they look like fishies

The snack that smiles back: Goldfish."

I CANNOT GET ENOUGH of the “Oh look the pretzel’s winning” part. I get this good feeling whenever I hear it (just like the next line of the song asks me about!), and I always try to sing along. I feel that I could watch it a million times.

I also adore the one for Sprint mobile phones where a girl is in a diner next to the clumsiest man in the world who, while attempting to eat an incredibly messy sandwich, smears ketchup and mustard all over his face, squirts lemon juice in his eye, and knocks over his glass of soda in the process.

The girl snaps a photo of him (in a completely unrespectable state, giving a big old corny thumbs up) with her mobile phone/camera and sends it to her best friend? sister? with the message, “Hey, check this out. I’m sitting next to your new boyfriend. Don’t you just love your new boyfriend?”

Her friend, who is sitting with the Sprint problem-solver-guy, receives the photo and message, turns to the Sprint guy and in the most sincere, unusual way, says, “I do love him”.

“As long as you’re happy,” he replies.

GAH! It’s just so NICE!! Do you not love this commercial??!

And here I am, using T-Mobile like a sucker.

I have to agree with Jas on the goldfish. I read his post slowly so I could sing along in my head. :)

Another commercial I love is for this show called Residence Life (about medical residents), on TLC, I think. I really like how the music perfectly conveys the looks on the faces of the residents.

MTV also has some pretty effective commercials for STD testing, where couples ask each other to go and get tested—I think there’s one with a man standing in line at a lunch counter too. I don’t really remember the script, but they’re fun and hip and make it sound very cool to get tested for STD’s.

jason, you really like the cell phone one? that one makes me mad. it makes me think of all the “cool” girls i disliked in junior high and their prissy sense of humor. that, and i hate feeling embarassed for other people. but maybe i’m taking it too seriously.

I think we’re viewing it differently, Kirstin…

I don’t end up feeling embarrassed for the guy at all because his girlfriend (she really is his girlfriend) loves him despite all his goofiness and probably even finds it endearing! I just love the way she says “I do love him,” so earnestly. I think she means it. And that just makes her prissy friend (who took the picture) look dumb. It’s super sincere, and I’m into sincerity lately.

I’m curious about the (she really is his girlfriend) bit

I, too, like the Goldfish cracker commercials because of the lyrics. The first time I heard the “… until you bite their heads off” I did a double-take and waited for the commercial to come on again to see if I’d heard right. The lyrics are absurd and I love it!

Commercials that are really annoying me now are for Perkins. One is where a lady is slaving over a bowl with eggs and other baking sundries and she says “When we want pancakes for breakfast, we get up early” or something that implies drudgery. The second woman says oh-so-smugly, “When we want pancakes for breakfast, we go to Perkins.” Their slogan is now something akin to “Why cook?” The second one I’ve seen has a woman looking exhausted while grocery shopping and she says something about when they want to eat cheaply they have to waste so much time shopping. Her counterpart says when they want to eat cheaply, they go to Perkins.

I mean, really, there is absolutely NO WAY Perkins is better than homemade pancakes. And NO WAY is it cheaper than eating at home. I can’t believe the balls of the ad execs who created this ad campaign. Is America THAT isolated from the kitchen?? Why are they pushing us in that direction?

Oh, I do declare I’m ranting and raving. Pardon me.

You’ve never tried my pancakes :-( and for me, after figuring in that I can’t use all the stuff I’d need to buy before it rots, it’s actually cheaper and better tasting for me to eat out – I just prefer to get my pancakes from the little cafe on Mason just off union square – I admit, the company’s better too.

Did anybody see the candy bar commercial where a jogger is stretching against his porsche parked along a windy road? A cool rastafarian vw bus driver drives around the curve eating his chocolate bar of whatever brand. He jovially stops, gets out and helps the unsuspecting jogger push his porsche off the cliff. Sad part for the ad is that I don’t remember what kind of chocolate it was.

Dave,

Regarding your curiosity: After reading Kirstin’s post, I think the commercial can be read two ways.

1. The girl in the diner takes the photo of the goofy guy as a mean spirited joke and sends it to her friend (who is not the goofy guy’s girlfriend) as if to say, “Do you see this foolish man? Are you not glad that he is not your boyfriend? Let us mock him.” The “girlfriend” then sarcastically says “I do love him,” to the Sprint man, also making fun of the clumsy fellow.

2. The girl in the diner takes the photo of the goofy guy as a mean-spirited joke and sends it to her friend (who is the goofy guy’s girlfriend) as if to say, “Here is a photo of your boyfriend in a comical and unrespectable situation. I think he is foolish and so should you.” However, the girlfriend loves her boyfriend despite (maybe even because of!) his clumsiness and tells the Sprint man so.

I prefer number 2.

i, too, like the #2 interpretation, although i have a hard time believing it (chalk it up to childhood scars). it would be easier to believe if the girls weren’t so hot and trendy.

i did see a commercial last night for CSI that made me laugh—some episode about a kinky fetish party where people get sexy with each other wearing big, furry animal costumes. the cops, who are in to investigate, are a bit confused about the whole thing and someone asks, “So, you’re a fur-gin?” for some reason, i think the whole concept of the episode was developed around that clever line.