catapult magazine

I don’t have a remote control for my television, so I sit through the commercials. Kristin and I like to recite them to eachother (Kristin’s very good at the “Hello, I’m Carnie Wilson…” one about the benefits of “lypro-scopic gastro bypass surgery”). It’s gotten to the point now where I enjoy the commercials as much, if not more than the real shows. And I’ve developed some favorites and some not so favorites.

As far as the “not so favorites” go, I have noticed an unfortunate trend in commercials right now where the characters are able to see into the future and they foresee some crazy dangerous result and they change their minds about wanting this or that thing. BEST BUY is doing that with people who want to purchase something and then they look into the future and decide that they should get smaller speakers so they don’t break their neck at the party next weekend, for instance. I’ve seen this scenario played out in Washington Mutual ads and many beer commercials too. It’s the curse of the “maybe that wasn’t such a good idea” commercial. It just seems like a way to present a funny scenario for a product that really doesn’t lend itself to funny scenarios unless you force one on it.

Favorites: I have loved the Mittsubishi ads, the ones with the rockin’ guitar riff and dvsch-dvsch drums, where the car is seen through the windows of an office-apartment building from both the first and second floor and then up from the sewer and then from up above the skyscrapers. Those commercials aren’t being played right now, but the newest one is where the rockin’ guitar riff is interrupted by “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!” I actually call Kristin into the room when that one comes on. I am also smitten with the AT&T commercials that make telephones seem like a saving grace in the midst of crazy and uncertain times. I remember being moved by one that hinted at the tragedy of 9-11. It suggested that telephones help to keep people together in a world where we are so far apart. The music was some Nick Drake-sounding thing that made me want to cry. For some reason, I didn’t feel manipulated, but was willing to agree that telephones have a moral dimension as well. A product is not just a product, but can actually be helpful to my humanity.

What are some of your “favs” and “not so favs”?

Oh! CSI (not “Christian Schools International”—I was confused for weeks by this) commercials are so multi-faceted. The season premiere commercial for CSI this Fall had pictures of erotic women doing erotic things and then the voice overdub said: “Seduced by Sex and Lured to their Death. Tune in for the series premiere of CSI.” Does anyone else think that commercial works on two levels?

I would have to say that I’m not too excited about the Sprint commercials (they pale in comparison to the AT&T Wireless ones), but I do like the unique ending on the Sprint commercial in question. Incidentally, I noticed that, for the picture-phone commercials, the subjects being photographed ALWAYS know they’re being photographed, so we don’t get the idea that it’s ok to take people’s pictures unawares (just like how people are always holding beers in beer commercials but you never see them actually take a drink, so we don’t get the idea that drinking is cool or ok—ha ha ha).

I should work one of my all-time zany commercials into this, since Kirstin’s one about the person wrapped in plastic reminded me of it. One of my all-time favorites is for the “Hover-Round”, especially when that woman drives her “Hover-Round” all the way up to the rim of the Grand Canyon. The image of that woman “conquering” the Grand Canyon with her suped-up fancy-schmancy mobility device is priceless.

My wife and I get a kick out of the medicinal advertisements. We always love how carefree and happy everyone seems to me whilst on medication. The best part of the commercials is reading the fine text. We were blown away the other night when the fine print on one read:

Speaking of drug commercials … is it me, or are there many prescription drug commercials out there that never really tell you directly what they’re for? They seem to be getting more and more vague (some of them, except Viagra).

seriously. they all say something like, “ask your doctor if [insert drug name here] is right for you.” i wonder how many doctors are asked completely stupid questions about prescription medication just because people have seen those commercials.

Indeed, no one in my family will ever forget the night we were all watching TV after my brother had returned from a semester at college with mysterious health problems. After an amazing commercial for some wonderdrug, my naive brother was sincerely convinced and exclaimed “That’s it – maybe it’s a yeast infection!”

I haven’t seen too many commercials for a while, but I do remember liking the “got milk?” series some time ago. (especially the one where the guy is at the zoo and is taunting the monkey with his pretzels—“you want some? you want some?”—and then pulling them away at the last minute while the monkey grabs for it and makes high pitched grunting noises in dismay, and then as he stuffs the last pretzels into his mouth his walks over to the refreshments stand with this self-satisfied smirk and says through his pretzels “can i get some milk?” and the refreshments guy gets the milk and starts to hold it out, but then pulls it back and the guy starts making high pitched grunting noises in dismay. then, of course, “got milk?”

Warning: Milk may not be suitable for monkeys. Feeding zoo animals can result in a fine or punishment of up to five years in prison.

Has anyone seen the SUV commercial (I think it’s a Honda commercial…but not sure) about the husband who was raised by wolves? You see the wife driving through rugged terrain and the husband running along side the vehicle in the forest. His son throws a stick in a lake and the father dives in after it like a dog playing fetch. It is hysterical.

Guess the advertising didn’t work, however, since I can’t remember what vehicle it is for…

Dave, I laughed out loud at your “maybe it’s a yeast infection” story!

HOVEROUND HAS DONE IT AGAIN! Just in time for the Christmas Holidays, Hoveround has released a new commercial. The company must have hired some comedy writers for their commercials, because now the mobility device is used by circus acrobats to show just how many uses it could have. Not only can you go to the Grand Canyon with your Hover ’Round, but you could also loan it to acrobats who can balance three people on it at once! Thanks, Hoveround!