catapult magazine

How often do you see your neighbors? Do you consider them your friends? Why do you think it is that your neighborhood functions as a community (or doesn’t). And what about that old grumpy guy with the fat dog at the end of your street? What’s up with him?

As of yesterday, Amy and I have become the proud payers of money to a bank for use of a house until we own it in 30 years. We’re pretty excited. There were obviously several things we were looking for, but one of the biggest was location. We wanted to be within walking distance of a park, the Christian grade school and a grocery store. We got all three.
One of the biggest positives (and one of the biggest negatives) is that it is in my own neighborhood. We’re going to be living five blocks from my parents. The neighborhood is fantastic, and I still know and talk to many of the families there.
Amy and I have been in the best of neighborhoods (neighbors looking out for our best interest and helping in raising the kids) and in the worst of neighborhoods (drug busts and murders in the area). I guess all add to character in one way or another.
To me, I want to be in an area, where I can trust that my kid (and eventually kids) can safely run through the backyards. I don’t like fences. I want to be able to shovel an kindly/elderly neighbor’s driveway and know that the next snowfall will bring other neighbors to help as well. I don’t need tupperware parties, but back yard neighborhood barbecues are always cool.
I hope we’ll get that. I’m pretty sure we will.

Well said, Norb. I’m just back from the closing of our refinancing of our house, so this is on my mind. We will only be paying for another ten years, but that is still a decent chunk of time.

Some of my students who have recently moved into distant rural Indiana talk about how much they love their safe neighborhoods. This brings up an interesting question, though. If we really believe that all are sinners, what makes us think that there are certain areas that are safer than others? Murders and kidnappings occur in rural areas as well as urban ones.

I think part of it is having a community you can trust, at least somewhat, and a place where people look out for you and you look out for them. I wonder how people who like in barn-like houses or airplane-hanger sized houses feel like they can look out for each other.

To put the whole thing yet another way, is there more security in a neighborhood or in a good security system? Is there any real home security at all?

I live in a small city of 3,000 people outside Madison. I live on a street of elderly, retired landscapers. Needless to say, we don’t see our neighbors very often. They know all about us, however, because when we DO talk to them, they seem to have been keeping close tabs on our movements.

In contrast, I notice their comings and goings, or lack thereof, but I have not made an effort to reach out to any of my elderly neighbors – mainly because (and I can admit this and hope to change) I’ve had my fill of senior citizens at this point in my life. My inlaws are elderly. My grandparents are elderly. And they take, take, take and require so much of my patience that I don’t voluntarily want to spend any more time with the WWII or Korean War generation. I know this is heartless and selfish. But I just don’t feel up to subjecting myself to more elderly opinions and being the source of their gossip (which is rampant around here). I’d rather they spectulated about my life than spread the actual details.

The one exception to the “old” rule in my neighborhood is the family across the street. All their kids are out of high school and still living at home. They drive noisy trucks, park on their lawn, yell and scream profanities at eachother and their boyfriends/girlfriends at all hours of the night, etc. They also have five hounds that bark at the wind. I refuse to get to know these people on a personal level. I know their names and am friendly when I see them, but I will NOT be organizing a neighborhood bbq with them anytime soon.

In conclusion, I think part of my anti-social behavior (if that’s what you call it) is still a reaction to the fishbowl I grew up in – good ol’ Sheboygan. I really felt watched and judged in my community, church and school. I reveled in the anonymity of UW Madison and the fact I had to seek out attention from professors and other people. I thrived in that environment. I’m active in my church community, but that’s in Madison, too, and not in my little city.

Is Sheboygan anywhere near as fishbowlish as where you’re living now. Small towns can be a bit too gossipy, conservative, rigid, whatever, but I think they get a bad rap at times as well.
I love having not grown up in a suburb. I love that not all the houses look alike in my neighborhood. Sure, I’m not a big fan of the attitude my mom received in Cedar Grove being a Catholic from Atlanta. The positives outweighed the negatives. I think the comfortability (in a bad way) of the area was tempered in opportunities to strengthen the community, and now that I’m older, opportunities to challenge and expand it.

It’s probably the same, but because I don’t know many people here, it’s easier to escape and ignore. I definitely don’t live in a suburb, which is both a blessing and a curse. Architectuarly, we’ve got character and a definite mix of people (which I do appreciate in my way). The librarian knows my name without seeing my card. The check-out girls at the Piggly Wiggly recognize me. But on the other hand, the commercial pickings are slim and the educational opportunities are not-so hot. There are trade-offs everywhere. The real estate market in this area is incredibly inflated. What you could buy in Sheboygan for $75,000-90,000 is more like $180,000-250,000 here and even worse the more popular a community is. We’re looking for a larger house (preferably old) and we’re looking at homes that cost more than what my parents would sell theirs for in Sheboogie (and they live in a pretty nice house). It’s depressing.

What I’d really like are NEIGHBORS MY AGE!!!! Other stay-at-home moms who keep their children clean and can talk about life!!!

Move back to Sheboygan! We could be neighbors!
What fun.

We’d love to move to Sheboygan, but R.J.‘s office is in Madison. Thus, we’re stuck with trying to discover our own private Idaho untouched by the real estate moguls here.

Anyone participating in this discussion heard of the New Urbanism movement?

The grumpy old guy with the fat dog at the end of my street is named Joe. Yes, it’s true!

I live on the Near West Side of Chicago, in a neighborhood that is about 1/4 grad students and 3/4 Italian families who have lived in these very townhouses for several generations now. We’re not really friends, but I feel safe here. Every SINGLE Italian on this street knows me and where I live, they carry my groceries for me, and I haven’t met most of them. Joe is the recognized “grandfather” of the block, meaning he has keys to all the houses. ???? Some people tell me these are signs of the MAFIA!!! I don’t care—Joe likes me and mobsters always look out for the people they like, right?

I do really like living here. I realize there are projects only a few blocks away, and I get propositioned almost daily by homeless/drunk/high/mentally ill/lonely men. But I could have chosen to live in a trendier neighborhood, and I didn’t. Not because it would cost more, but because this way I am constantly, again and again, reminded of how life really is for so many people. I’ve never felt so affluent as I do when I walk to the train every day—and I find the reminder really factors in to the level of humility I feel. I think I could easily become oblivious to suffering, but this way reality hits me in the face every day. I’ve never wanted to feel too comfortable in life, and this way, I definitely don’t.

Thanks Norb, mrsanniep, and Sarah for some tthoughtprovoking responses. Sarah, you obviously live in a neighborhood that many people would call a bad neighborhood. It sounds to me, from reading your post, though, that you don’t feel particulary in danger there. Mrsanniep seems to live in a fairly good neighborhood, though the across-the-street neighbors sound like they might make me feel uneasy from time to time. Norb seems to live in an idyllic land that total depravity forgot (maybe we should ALL move there). What makes your neighborhood safe or not safe?

I live in a neighborhood tht many people have recently moved out of because there are people who have moved in whose skin color is different from those who moved out. This dispite the fact that the people whith different skin who are moving in, on average, make more money than those moving out. Some of the movers-out who I have talked to have said that they don’t feel safe in their nieghborhood anymore. This perplexes me beacuse we know our neighbors, both black and white, and we all look out for each other. So I ask again, what makes a safe nieghborhood? Is it color of residents, their mean income, or something else?

I think simple comfortability is a key. If the residents are comfortable in their surroundings, regardless of median income, color, or whatever else, they are content. Contentment breeds safety. Right?
As far as my own little Eden here in Sheboygan, I think people are happy here because a bulk of the population is high. and/or drunk. Just kidding…kind of.