catapult magazine

When we ask, “What is the purpose of sex?”, isn’t that like the egg asking the chicken why the omelette is never first? No, you say. It’s nothing like that. My point exactly. Is not the purpose of sex sex itself? There’s no other purpose. People (even married people) don’t have sex in order to feel closer with their spouse or with God or any other such lofty goals. Not intentionally. Not consciously. People have sex with the intention of…having sex. When we say “the purpose of sex is to achieve the most profound union with another person”, we are using a cause and effect model again, which has its uses, but that’s exactly the problem. Sex should not be used to get something else. That’s bad sex. No, I don’t mean bad technique, although that could be true too. That’s sex as a tool to get something else. As a technology. As a means of getting what you want, you god. Or maybe as a tool for two people getting what they want, thank God. How about this sentence, instead: “the purpose of union is to achieve the most profound union with another person”. Sex=union. True? Not the way sex is typically defined. If you’re taking the typical definition, then the moment sex becomes union, it is no longer sex—it’s union. According to modern day notions, sex might be a way of achieving union, or a symbol of union etc., but it can’t be union itself. But it is! So maybe what we call “sex” is not union at all. Maybe only union is union, and sex which is union is only the kind of physical experience of union that lets us have a taste of what true union can be. If not union, then maybe it’s just sex. And for single people who are waiting until marriage, maybe it’s just not having sex, but still having union? All that I’m saying is maybe there should be no end for sex, especially if the goal is union.

We do refer to sex as a “consumation”, don’t we? Perhaps sex is a tiny eschaton.

Right, that’s what I’m thinking about. The end IS sex. But not sex as we think of it in a biological sense, but in a spiritual sense (which is truly physical). We are all in a state of consummational frustration, waiting impatiently for the end. The whole world is like a horny teenager longing to reach that ultimate experience, of peace and harmony, pure pleasure, complete communion between God and Man, the Kingdom of God come to fill up the Kingdom of Man in that Last Great Kingdom (the Kingdom of “Sex”?).

The end IS sex, true enough. Not THE end is sex. Of course in the end no one will have sex. That’s the miracle of heaven…it will be even better than sex. A prospect most people can’t fathom, but it “turns on” the eyes of faith. As blessed as good sex is between godly couples, so much more will our communion with God be on that final day. Perhaps we’ve struck upon an evangelistic tool: “Christianity: Even better than the real thing.”

There are a lot of similariities we could explore between sex and Christianity. I know when our family came to the Reformed faith, for instance, it was a huge relief. For a moment all our cares were lifted (both my parents lost their spouses when they were in their mid twenties!). Of course they came back, but in altered form. That’s the way sex can be. For a moment it’s like you black out. Everything has the volume turned down. There’s a lifting that defies explanation. And then you’re forever altered with that person.

Perhaps I’m stretching things a bit, but think of Paul. The one who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body. He who unites himself with the Lord is one with Him in spiirt. 1 Cor 6:16-17