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As their child, is there anything i can do to help my parents fix their relationship? They don’t want to talk to me about their situation but i know there is something wrong because they are showing some signs of a troubled marriage according to the article that I’ve read. I don’t want them to end up getting a divorce. Please help.

It’s impossible to give good counsel/advice without really knowing the people involved. So I can’t give any really solid advice (even if I had any wisdom to share!).

One thing I would say, though, is that when you’re talking to your mom about the way she’s treating your dad, try to keep the focus on your mom. When you’re talking to your dad about the way he’s treating your mom, try to keep the focus on your dad. Say, "Dad, I’ve noticed you’ve been acting this way toward mom." If he’s like most people (including myself, sad to say), he won’t like hearing it. No one likes to be shown their own faults. So he may try to shift the focus onto your mom. "Well, yeah, but have you noticed the way she’s treating me…" You may be tempted to defend your mom, but then the conversation becomes unproductive. Instead of talking about your mom when your talking to your dad, you should say, "Dad, I know mom’s not perfect either. But I’m talking to you right now, not her. Let’s talk about the way you contribute to the difficulties in marriage." The same goes for when you’re talking to your mom: keep the focus on her. We all like to shift the blame, but helpful change only comes when we own up to our own faults.

It’s difficulty to be the kid and try to talk your parents, so I sympathize on the challenges. The bigger issue is whether they have a good reason to change the way they treat one another. If they are Christians there is always a reason to change; if they are not Christians, they may have a hard time finding a reason to change.

My aunt once reminded me that parents very rarely like to be told what to do by their own children, even if the children are adults (and are possible acting more adult-like than their own parents). Having seen similar situations, I think that it would be pretty difficult for you to take on the role of marriage counselor. You can mention the things you’ve noticed, as Anton suggests, and also let them know how their actions and the tensions between them are affecting you. After that, I wouldn’t have very many expectations. They may take your advice and begin working through issues, but whether or not they do is out of your hands. In my experience, your best bet is to explore how their issues are affecting you, and maybe find someone to talk with to help you deal with the situation, however it turns out. Good luck!