catapult magazine

catapult magazine


Help! marriage, divorce, one flesh dilemna


Feb 03 2003
09:32 am

I’m kind of discipling a brand new believer with relationship problems. But his situation goes outside the bounds of Joshua Harris’ “Boy Meets Girl”.

He has one child from a previous marriage. Another on the way from a one night stand BC (before Christ). And he’s dating a woman right now who is a marginal Christian at best.

So in advising him it’s hard to know where to start. Last night we spent most of the night talking about insecurity, lack of fellowship, condemnation, etc.

I think dating someone is the last thing he should do right now, but I know that’s the one thing that he wants to hold on to. Also, from my understanding biblically, shouldn’t he marry the girl who’s pregnant?

It’s really neat talking about it hypothetically, but very messy trying to give someone loving guidance.

Any ideas or scriptures?


Feb 03 2003
09:44 am

I think many people look for simple ideas in complex situations. This is a complex situation. Should he feel obligated to marry his pregnant…exgirlfriend/one-night-stand girl? No. Obligation is never the right reason to do anything. It usually plays a (larger than hoped-for) role in decision making, but fundamentally, I don’t think that’s right.
This person you are trying to bring into the fold couldn’t ask for a better time or place to be in. Christianity is the ultimate solution even if you don’t have the questions, which to me would be a…“selling point” for him. I hate that phrase. Regardless of the situation or circumstances, he needs to feel acceptance and support, not in his actions but in his frailty and position as a lost child.
If his current relationship is a good thing for him, why not hold on to it. If this is a transitional period, stability in that relationship might be good. Ultimately, however, he will not to look to Christ and his people for help in stabilizing his situation. Christianity is a journey, and he has an interesting road ahead of him. It’ll be tough but “not all who wander are lost” right?


Jun 17 2004
10:18 am

I agree with Norbet. No one should ever get married because they feel obligated to. It only increases the divorce rates. I do believe that he should stop dating the girl though. He doesn’t need any complications at this stage at all. He will probably say that she isn’t complicating things, but simplifying it. He should trust Jesus totally and with everything. God never messes up and the only reason we do is cos we take matters into our own hands.


Ron Bergundy
Oct 01 2006
10:45 pm

Keep your dink in your pants….
and stay classy….
thats what i say