catapult magazine

catapult magazine


The Warrior Inside


Apr 29 2003
09:35 am

(Disclaimer: respond if you want, I wrote this statement this morning after rehashing the last number of months of my life. I felt led to post it here. It might be inspirational to some. I strongly recomend John Eldredge’s book “Wild at Heart” to any guy out there. Its an amazing inspirational book.)

I was reading a prophetic word that was spoken over me a year and a half ago and reflecting on a certain phrase. ?Behold I will reveal myself to you in a different light.? I look back on that and laugh now. I was struggling then as I still am with direction in my life and I was looking for answers. God did come to me in a different light. He quit showing up in those same dynamic ways he once did. He became silent but I saw him in other ways.

After quitting SpeedLine and beginning my time at Regent I was able to spend some time quietly reflecting on nature, living, and God himself. I knew God was shaping me and changing my way of thinking.

I thought through so many things. God unveiled my eyes to so many of my frustrations that I had simply come to accept. I see a real problem with technology and media. I?ve become more frustrated with marketing and the internet then I ever was before. I sense a real lack of excitement to technology and that?s whats driving me right now. My life lacks adventure and challenge. Now I?m not saying that finding a job in the technology field is not a challenge, it most definitely is seeing that there are hardly any jobs out there. What I am saying is that even if I was to find a tech job would it be exciting, dynamic, what I really want to do? I?m not sure it would.

I am reading the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge, and I quote:

?To most men, God is either distant or he is weak?the very thing they?d report of their earthly fathers. Be honest now?what is your image of Jesus as a man? ?Isn?t he sort of meek and mild?? a friend remarked. ?I mean, the pictures I have of him show a gentle guy with children all around. Kind of like Mother Teresa.? Yes, those are the pictures I?ve seen myself in many churches. In fact, those are the only pictures I?ve seen of Jesus. As I?ve said before, they leave with the impression that he was the world?s nicest guy. Mister Rogers with a beard. Telling me to be like him feels like telling me to go limp and passive. Be nice. Be swell. Be like Mother Teresa.
I?d much rather be told to be like William Wallace.? (pg 22)

Eldredge then goes on to describe how Jesus was just as much a William Wallace as a Mother Teresa. God is caring, just, trustworthy, but also strong, and wild. This is the way I see it. If I am to be an image of God then how can I add to the caring and trustworthy side. I am frustrated with sitting at a desk and not doing anything to help the world. So how can I remedy the situation. How can I have a direct impact on peoples lives in another aspect other than working in the church?

I?ve said to myself again and again in frustration, I?m trapped. I love technology, but I want adventure, why am I still single? It is time. It is time for God to get his way. God has revealed himself to me. He is my father, he is a wild man! He is who I look up what I want to look like. Caring and loving, but also wild and strong. I want to be proud and strong, doing my part, caring for people but also able to make a difference when the time comes.

So I ask myself what does that career look like. Law enforcement? Military? Navy? CSIS? Right now? I?m drawn towards? well I?m not going to tell you. This is my adventure. What?s yours?

My life is changing, reflecting God, reflecting what he meant me to be as a man. I am a warrior, in the spirit, but also in the physical.


Apr 29 2003
05:07 pm


thanks for the post. It moved me. I read the book at a pivotal time in my life two years ago.

There is a passion that burns inside of me. Before it was only used for athletics and schoolwork. I’m starting to use it more for the Lord.

I get frustrated because I want to change the world, but I don’t know how, and a part of me (doubt) is a little scared of trying to change the world.

I want to be like Jesus. He went places and things happened. I want to heal people, cast out demons, proclaim truth, and overcome evil with love. (Mark 16-style!)

Right now I’m an army officer struggling to understand God’s love for me. I’m frustrated by my sin, selfishness, pride, fear and insecurity. But God can overcome all of that.

I’m a work in progress. Lots of passion, but needing a lot of refinement. :)
Go for it, Dave! The victory belongs to the Lord!


May 02 2003
07:12 am

Thanks for the reply. I’ve used my gifts for the Lord. But I think I’ve neglected myself. Looking for approval of others and from God without having deep down approval from my soul. I became (and still am) frustrated with my life and my job. Now looking change straight in the eye I have a goal in mind. This may not sound too radical for you because you know little about me but it is completely insane if you knew me more.

In 3 months I want to be able to do:
19 pushups, 19 situps, 6 pullups, and a 2.4 Km run in under 12 minutes. What on earth has this got to do with anything? My goal is to pass the fitness test to get into the Canadian Forces. I want a new adventure, something to challenge and strengthen my faith outside of the normal routine. I want to do something because I want to.

God can overcome sin, selfishness, pride, fear, and insecurity, and he can do it anytime he likes. But as I’ve discovered in my battles with those similar things God needs our help to make change last.

Me? I need to start something new, something extrodinary and KICK ASS. My desk jockey job is great income, and a mental challenge but… something is lacking, and that something is the adventure.

What prompted you to join the Army? How has the Army challenged your faith? If I am really serious about this path then I want to know what I’ll be up against. (Assuming the Canadian Forces will be a similar challenge to the US Army).


May 02 2003
08:52 am


I did not join the military…I joined a band. Then I went back to school and started a new career. One that is challenging and gives me opportunities to “make a difference” in the little ways and on a personal level with the folk I run into at the studios.

I grew up around military (embassys and embassadors kids) from all over the world. I am an Eagle Scout. I did boot camp with the Paraguayan military as a scouting project. So I have alot of first hand knowledge of how the military operates and how the folk in the military live. A couple people stick out in my memories of the military. They were probably the creme of the crop as far as military personnel that have been in and out of my life.

  1. My old Scout Master – A drill sargeant for the Marines turned Embassy Chief of Security. While the man was made of steel, he was full of compassion and inspiration. He taught me how to work towards achieving my goals without stepping on anyone else in the process. He taught me how to analyze any given situation and find the positives that could be used to keep the operation moving (whether militarily or just in everyday life). He instilled in me a sense of personal integrity. He was not a Christian, but his instruction (that I often reflect back on) I think has helped me in my spritual walk through the deserts, valleys and mountains. He almost talked me into joining the Marines…ha ha ha.

There was the armory master that gave us range time and allowed us to expirament with several different types of rifles and weapons. He taught me about the sanctity of human life and the responsibility we have in protecting and guarding life at all costs. He showed me the importance of focus, steadiness and subsequently steadfastness.

And recently a co-worker, who is also a non-active marine, has showed me something outside of the military scope of life…he has displayed a passion for his wife and family and a determination to keep them first at all costs. Personal integrity and a determined work ethic is his motto. I like that. He is known to practice what he “preaches”.

So I am not sure what sort of excitement you are looking for. I am not sure what sort of adventure you are seeking. I do know that life in the military can truly strengthen your ineer workings if that is what you choose. It is less about the ass kicking and more about the humbling and serving…which sometimes kicks the hardest ass to reach…our own.


May 02 2003
03:19 pm


Some advice: do your homework. If the Canadian Army is anything like the American Army, the recruiters are given requirements. If you score high on aptitude tests (especially intelligence) you have your pick of specialties to choose from. (US Army has 212 military occupational specialties).

You probably have airborne units. That would be extraordinary. Just remember that in the military for every extraordinary moment there’s 50 moments of cleaning toilets, mopping floors, cleaning rifles, lubing vehicle grease fittings, ironing uniforms, polishing boots, etc. Not trying to steal your thunder, but trying to give you a dose of reality.

As an officer, I’m able to live off post with three guys from my church. One of the biggest challenges of being enlisted is also the biggest ministry opportunity: living in the barracks. Things go on at the barracks that I wouldn’t want to talk about on *cino.
But three guys from my church are claiming their barracks floor for Jesus. They worship and pray in the barracks and bring friends to church. It’s powerful.

If you have the desire to succeed physically and mentally in the military, you can. The biggest challenge is the same with any job: the people. God will use people to challenge you, humble you, convict you, attack you, and encourage you.

Feel free to ask me any questions any time. In this venue or you can email me at I also know more than a little bit about fitness if you have any q’s on how to prepare for physical fitness tests or tricks for getting extra push-ups & sit-ups.


May 03 2003
04:02 am


I am glad we have thoughtful, realistic Christians like you in the US military. I am also glad to hear several posts on this thread talking about God’s calling for your life.

I am a high school teacher, and some of my students who dign up with the military seem to do it because the relish the chance to blow something up or to kill someone. I see these actions as a regrettible if necessary consequence of living in a sinful world and certainly want to avoid them if possible. I also see, I think, that when my students return for a visit after going through basic and serving for a while, that they no longer seem as eager to kill and destroy. Jason, did you feel that pull toward the military when you signed up? Do you still feel it at all? (there are times, I suppose, when we all do).

Secondly, and I don’t mean to disparage anyone’s choices at all, as I said, I am glad there are people like Jason serving my country, are there any other challenges that can comparewith military training? Should we consider starting missionary boot camps? I think the Christian life can be a very tough thing, though in North America, we seem to try as hard as we can to make it comfortable.


May 04 2003
10:48 pm


I was incredibly immature in HS. I spent most of my time in Chemistry class talking about blowing things up. I guess when you’re young to want to make a difference in the world but you feel powerless to even get victory over pimples and voice cracking. And what’s with the girl who won’t go out with you and the guy who keeps ransacking your locker?

I guess blowing stuff up holds more appeal than cleaning your bedroom for mom before you can hang out with your buddies. I’m glad we have teachers like you to talk some sense into the students :)

I’m shocked when I meet people who actually look forward to killing people. It’s not natural and it’s not of God.
I definitely didn’t (and don’t) look forward to killing people. In fact, that’s a big reason why I didn’t want to go infantry (despite my success in infantry-style training). I’ve done a lot of deadly infantry training, and it can become a drill but it’s always very sobering to think about doing it for real. I don’t think I could do it in my own strength.
Destroying things can be fun, though. I play with demolitions a lot as a combat engineer.
The only reason I’m in the army is because I knew I wanted to go to Wheaton College and we couldn’t afford it without an army scholarship. I knew nothing about the army: I didn’t even know the difference between an officer and enlisted or how to wear the uniform. At first I wanted to be commissioned in the Army reserves and find a safe job as a computer programmer (Rob and Kirstin were there throughout these times). Life in the army was far too frightening with too many variables.

Gradually, God developed in me mental and physical skills for the military. It’s a classic story of God having a much better plan for my life and mercifully leading me in that direction.

Every job has its unique challenges. No one’s missing out on anything by not being in the military. As long as you’re doing what God’s called you to do and bringing glory to Him, what else is there?
I don’t think we ever need to seek out suffering just for growth. (although maybe I shouldn’t be so afraid of things like fasting: it builds faith in God, not food) I think God always puts plenty of challenges in our lives (to build spiritual muscles). The key is embracing the challenges God gives us. There is almost always an easy way out but if we want to be more like Jesus, it’s usually doesn’t happen by taking the easy way.


May 05 2003
02:47 am

I say again, Jason, I am glad there are people like you in the military. (Many of my students are there too. One of my favorite students is going into the Air Force in the air traffic control program. He too addresses it as his calling.)

Thanks for the honest answer. I am glad you have grown up. (Heck, I am glad i have grown up too.)


May 05 2003
12:08 pm


This is quite reasuuring. I am comforted by the fact that there is some hope in the military. I appreciate what you said (JabirdV) about the military people in your life. What I think I’m understanding that a military carreer will either break you or make you a stronger Christian. There is very little room or comfort for luke warm christians there. Am I right?

I hesitate to say I’m called to the military. I believe my call is to ministry, but it is not to church ministry. I am looking for a place that I can work and be challenged in my faith, and skills.

This change of thought began as I became dissallusioned with the whole IT (Info Tech) job market. It is tighter than a … well its tight. Finding I had no enjoyment I decided I needed a change and a challenge. Intelligence & Security is my primary carreer goal (military or otherwise). I have applied at CSIS (Canadian CIA) but didn’t recieve a call back and recently thought my chances of getting into the military were slim to none with Asthma and Chrones but with God’s help anything and everything is possible. It’s up to God. I will work my tail off to get in shape but it will be God who works in the recruitment office to let me in if that is truely where he wants me. If I took a wrong step… well… I’ll still be in great shape and I will still have gained something out of the process.

You know how God tends to speak to you and repeat certain things to you to emphasize something? Maybe you don’t but God has been repeating the lesson of trust to me. God is asking me to trust him. And I trust him in this journey.

Personally I’d love the challenge of the military, but if it isn’t where God wants me then its probably not going to happen eh?

Jason I’ll e-mail you sometime.