catapult magazine

If you saw the link to http://www.xxxchurch.com on *cino today, you might have seen the “save the kitten” campaign. It is designed to reduce the practice of masturbation around the world. The Christians responsible for the website talk about the kittens and then give their own take on masturbation, supposedly from a Christian perspective. What do you think of their argument?

And how does this change your reading of Dr. Seuss’ “The Cat in the Hat”?

Ok, I see that no one wants to touch this topic.

I’m really tempted to insert a fun poll here, but I won’t.

The following is a direct quote from the website:

Here?s what two normal thinkers think. You want to live a life that is honoring to God then start pleasing him and stop pleasing yourself. Stop making excuses and get some control over your life. Yes it is tough. Yes we know hormones are raging. However, God is calling us to holiness. Live an extraordinary life. Masturbation will leave you hanging every time!

How are…ahem…pleasing yourself and pleasing God in opposition, exactly? What about sexual release is unholy? As far as I can recall, the issue of masturbation is mentioned once in the Bible (the part about the guy spilling his seed…) and the sin was not in the act itself, but in the disobedience to God. I really, truly, do not understand how this issue has become so incredibly laced with shame and secrecy. I do not believe that masturbation is a selfish act, in the negative sense of the word. I view selfishness as a commitment to self at the expense of others . Masturbation is not harmful to self, to the larger community, or to God’s kingdom. In fact, the shame, guilt, and failure brought about by attempts to abstain is far worse—as are the negative sexual associations and lack of self-knowledge (yes, I do mean the physical kind).

(Of course, as with any addiction, if a person is completely out of control and can’t think of anything else and it interferes with their daily lives and they use it as a coping mechanism….then yes, there’s the problem.)

Which brings me to another topic. Fantasy. Fantasizing. Many Christians consider sexual fantasizing to be lustful. I disagree. Comments? Thoughts?

alright kristin. for the record, i started to reply once, and then got busy with work and couldn’t continue. at least that’s my excuse.

interestingly enough, i’m reading a pseudo-fictional book right now about an Archdeacon in the Church of England dealing with strong “inclinations” towards a woman other than his wife. i will quote directly from the book:

“…I personally believe masturbation need be no more sinful than contraception. It entirely depends on the intent of the perpetrator. If one adopts contraception merely to neutralise the risks of fornication, then of course it must be wrong; if one adopts it to preserve one’s wife’s heath, then it must be right. A similar distinction can be made between masturbating in order to avoid a healthy relationship with the opposite sex and masturbating to save oneself from sliding into dementia while battling towards the altar, and if anyone things I’m behaving like a Modernist heretic when I state this fundamentally moral opinion, all I can say is: too bad.”

There are a few things I might disagree with in here and the context is a bit different than the one we might be talking about, but overall, the concept works for me.

I have a friend who struggles with sex outside of marriage. Everytime it happens, she feels shame and frustration and guilt b/c she “doesn’t want to be that kind of girl.” She also feels like she’s giving a part of herself away (if i may use that cliche) to each guy she sleeps with. At the same time, she has strong inclinations towards sex, and she enjoys the act and pleasure received. Using the concept of the above quote, would it not be better for her to release some of her sexual tension herself rather than falling into all of these UNhealthy relationships with the opposite sex? My tendency is to say yes, but anyone can choose to disagree.

Back to the website. I was a bit horrified, yet laughing at the same time, to see the video they connected to the site. Kittens frolicking, cute little furballs, a gentle voice saying “everytime you masturbate…”, and then a booming loud voice saying “GOD KILLS A KITTEN!” They say they want to deal with the topic in a humorous, non-threatening way. Um, sure, I can see the humor, I can understand the non-threat in trying to insert humor, but give me a break…

overall, I have to agree with kristinmarie. thanks for putting things more eloquently than I ever can…

It this campaign were true, ie. if God did kill a kitten everytime, there wouldn’t be very many cats around these days.

Really, how stupid a concept is that? I really dislike these sort of flippant “humourous” missuses of God’s name. I had the same problem with the WWJD bracelets. I just find the motivation behind these sort of slogans and their triteness as disrespectful and wrong as anything. If you want to please God and honour his will and name, don’t make up stupid-ass coercive bullshit campaigns like this. That is just how I feel.

I’ll leave it at that for now.

I’m glad to see christians talking about real issues. Masturbation is an issue that effects both men and women. It certainly doesn’t discriminate between christian or non. First of all I have not even gone to that xxxchurch site yet, but it sounds like a joke. I think serious topics should be talked about seriously.

Now Seriously, God calls us to live a holy life. Scripture is clear on that. The reason that God calls us to live holy is because we are holy already. WE are not holy becasue we conquer some sin. We are holy becasue Christ death made us the rightouesness of God. We can’t loose our holiness becasue we masturbate or even sin in any other form. Are holy standing before GOd has been established by Christ and there is nothing man can do to change that.

I have heard about the "whole release " thing. This whole philosophy about sexaul tension and if you don’t masturbate you will die or explode or something. Well first of all the flesh needs to be seen for what it is. The bible says one day corruptable will put on incorruptable. Our flesh is corrupt and most of the things we feel and experience in the flesh are affected by our sinful nature. Our bodies in other words are liing to us. When GOd created us he created us perfect and even after the fall of Adam we are still able to survive. The body is so amazing. GOd created us with relief vavles. If our body temp gets to high we sweat, to cold we shiver, to much stress we can shut down emotionally, trauma, shift the flow of blood to only vital organs. As far as sexually, if we build up too much ejaculatory fluid and sperm cells the body will discharge it through urine or you might wake up in the morning needing to change your “drawers”. My point is if you think you are going to die if you don’t have sex that is a lie from the flesh. It doesn’t mean your desires are not real. GOd created us to be sexaully active in his design.

Lets seperate sexaul tension from needing to release. Sexual tension is not natural it is created by us. Those who are married and affectionite towards one another are going to have some difficulty, but a sexaul relationship will be part of there package.

Tension speaks of struggle. Struggle speaks of the battle between spirit and flesh. Sex by design is a means to express love from one spouse to another, while providing the only method for human reproduction.

Masturbation is sin, and we need to look at it like any other sin or temptation. Our corrupted flesh calls us and wants to sexually gratify itself. We have two chosses, yes or no. Ofcourse when we say no our flesh throws a fit!!!! We may become restless or even anxious. This causes us to meditate on the very thing we are not trying to do. Might I remind you if you have masturbated before you know that you can make this feeling go away by just giving in. Then you start thinking about that. Now it is getting complicated. If you are tempted to masturbate you have not sinned. It is not a sin to be tempted.
The sin is in our response to the temptation. Temptation is very difficult and it is a hard thing to deal with. Mix that in with the fact that it involves a part of us that GOd created and invovles a part of us that brings us pleasure.

O.K. let us say we give in ,we masturbate. First of all God still loves us the same and we can confess that sin and move on . EVEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN. There is no limit to GOds’ forgivness. We made the feeling go away. We thought we were releasing sexaul tension and a little body fluid but we really realesed guilt and shame(which by the way will lead into the next time we masturbate) and condemnation. The guilt and shame invovled with sin is the feeling of seperation we feel. Sin seperates us from fellowship with God. We can’t approach God with sin ,that is why confession is so critical and it is so availible through his forgivness ,cause he wants us to keep approaching him as we grow in him. Shame tells us that what we are doing is wrong. (AS far as it relates to sin) We should be ashamed or bothered by the sins we do. People who say we are born gay or masturbation is normal are familiar with life in the flesh. They use this corrupted thinking to justify there bondages and addicitons. The truth is the flesh is tainted, it is affected by sin. Through christ there is a higher level of living. Living above our flesh, living in the spirit, but here on earth. Galations is clear, live by the spirit and you will not gratify the evil desires of the flesh. YOu wont ,not maybe you wont. Now I am not picking on anybody. I understand the struggle. IT is only a struggle if you fight it in the flesh.

NOt sinnig equals freedom. When we don’t give into temptaion we become free. We release freedom unto ourselves. Sin is designed not to make us feel bad about ourselves, it is designed to chain us up and lead us into a path that will result in our death. Sin from the beginning is designed to kill us.

The sin in masturbation is not to be tempted with it. The sin is in gratifying the flesh. it is not selfish so to speak ,becasue a slave doesn’t serve his master out of selfishness. In order to accomplish the act of masturbation we have to embrace thinking that that is not GOdly. We have to not set our minds on things of above. In other words we have to fantasize. Fantasy is saying “God I don’t like the life you have given or I don’t like the things you have given me to think about so I want to mentally create a new lot in life”. I close my eyes and I can be anything I want ,think anything I want , be with anyone I want.
The problem with that is that our minds are now focused off of GOd and our mind is where the war goes on. Those whos’ minds are set on Christ are at perfect peace. The answer to sexaul tension and temptation is the supernatural peace of God.
No addiciton is O.K. And there will never be an addiciton that can be controlled. An addiciton controls you. Excess can always be minimized when we compare it to someone elses’ situation. when compared to JEsus the exces is seen truthfully for what it is. LOve patience kindness, gentlness self control against such things there is no law…………. Do those in increasing measure. GOd wants us all to live lives above the flesh. Collosians says the love of GOd is suppose to rule us ,NOT OUR FLESH. AS christians we need to do the natural thing and progress to the next level beyond the flesh. Does this mean you will be perfect? DOes this mean you will never be tempted to sin or specifically masturbate? IT means you will begin to go in a direction of freedom in Christ, you will have HOly thinking, and as you grow closer to God you will be more and more victorious. You will be more free. You are already holy, and your inner life will begin to catch up with that. Until then there is forgivness and confession, it allows us to get back to God and keep going ,not to let us escape from the guilt of our sin. Sin is designed to kill you not a kitten……………………

I’m uncomfortable with this particular concept of flesh and spirit, that’s not an issue I’m capable of taking on. But, I’m going to have to agree with Briel on some points. The whole concept of releasing tension, I feel, doesn’t hold up. I’m unmarried and still a virgin, just so everyone is clear on where I’m coming from. Masturbation provides about as much relief as kicking out the glass of a patio door. I see it as an explosion of frustration more than anything else. I feel just as lonely as before as after. My hormones rage just as powerfully no matter what frequency “the act” is peformed. In about an hour I have to go to a church that is filled with beautiful young college women. THAT is extremely frustrating, especially since it’s at a church and it makes me actually dread going there. And no amount of jerking off if going to change that.
I don’t know. I don’t think of it so much as an act of self-pleasure, but rather frustration. I suppose its different for other people. Maybe it is only pleasure for some, or maybe narcassism.

Ok, I have to refine what I said. Frustration is not the motiviating emotion in masturbation, obviously. But it is frustration in the sense that it is a misplaced expression of lonliness and a desire for inimacy. I’m working under the assumption that sex is an expression of love and intimacy between husband and wife. Although I’m not a 100% on that, that’s the definition I hear most often from Christians.
Anyway, I guess with this line of arugment, then it would be a sin. To go back to my Punch Drunk Love metaphor, kicking out the glass of the patio door is the expression of pure frustration. I totally understand it and I truely empathize, but that doesn’t make it right. Same thing with cursing: it’s one way of communicating anger or pain, but that doesn’t mean we should do it.
It’s sad and lonely and in a strange way, it can draw our sympthay, but even though we can feel bad for someone expressing their isolation, it’s still a sin.
Again, I don’t know. It just seems to me that sex/lust is so often a misguided expression. It’s like that one line in a Woody Allen film (Husbands and Wives, Hannah and her Sisters, I don’t remember) where his wife tells Woody that he uses sex to express every emotion except love.

I just looked at the site xxxchurch.com. I’m saddened. I looked at that site from top to bottom. “Close but no cigar”. The say they are a church, a ministry, a organization that strives to free people from porn. Accountability doesn’t work, software to filter porn can be uninstalled, t-shirts watches, what does any of this have to do with healing. It is all external and all ineffective.
YOu can’t claim to be a ministry, and never mention healing. And you certainly can’t mention healing if you don’t promote salvation and a relationship with Jesus. I have never seen these two guys speak live and All I see is the website. So I will just say that the website is bad. They need to take the word church or anything that looks like God out of there database. JEsus died for the sins we commited that was serious stuff. God never laughed at sin. He never minimized it. He called it out. We wont be comfortable talking about our sin until we are ready to change and only God can get us ready for that. God hates sin he doesn’t laugh at it. I’m going to try to contact those guys and find out what there issues are. This perspective is not Godly. xxx is twisted.

Briel—I don’t have time to respond to your post right now—thanks for your thoughts, and I’ll try to get back to them. You bring up some very interesting points. I am also very uncomfortable with the definition of body/flesh as evil: I will try to elaborate in more depth.

Dave:

Hmm…about the assumption that sex is an expression of love and intamacy between a husband and wife: For some reason, that doesn’t quite sit with me as a complete explanation. I’m sort of thinking out loud here, and I haven’t been married for that long—maybe someone older can help me out.

Ok, like I said, sex IS an expression of love and intimacy, but that doesn’t seem, to me, to be a very complete definition. It’s also a physical need that you help each other fulfill. A whole lot of the time love, in the romantic sense of the word, doesn’t really fit into it: one person wants it, the other person sort of sighs and complies. (Not that that’s a bad thing at all—that’s love too, of course.) Within the context of marriage, the way to help each other fulfill that need is sex—a gift that involves two human beings and their emotions, feelings, physicality, minds, etc., but can also just more or less be for one or the other’s sexual pleasure.

Within the context of being single, one fulfills (to whatever varying degree of fulfillment can be personally found) this desire through masturbation. Masturbation is not sex, and is therefore not bound by the definition of “being an expression of love and intimacy between two people”. It’s very different. It is sexual, but it is not sex, as it does not involve another person. I’m not sure what exactly you mean by masturbation being a misplaced expression of loneliness and a desire for intimacy: do you mean that one should only be sexual with another person? That all things sexual should be saved for the context of marriage? That all sexual acts should be an expression of love and intimacy for another person—that the inherent sexual desire of human beings is sinful unless it is acted upon within the confines of a loving relationship? Or am I misinterpreting?

Why can’t masturbation, as a sexual act, be considered just that: a fulfilling/exploration of human sexuality and needs? Does it have to take on the additional burden of satisfying emotional needs? Does masturbation have to considered an expression of loneliness or longing for a husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/soulmate/whatever or can it be what it is—just a part of our sexual being?

And, then, what about mastubation within the confines of marriage? To define mastubation as sin based on the definition you gave would make this kind of thing sinful for married people too. Or is one, once married, suddenly allowed to throw away all of their guilt about their sexuality and romp around freely as they desire?

I really feel that, especially in religious circles, sex has become too loaded over the centuries. Human sexuality has been preached against, surpressed, laced with shameful, guilty, dark associations, and in general made out to be a bigger, badder, better, more prominent thing than it really is. I mean, the founders of the xxxchurch sight claimed that “masturbation will leave you hanging every time,” but many, many people could make the same claim for sex itself. Sex, within or without marriage, is not always the explosively satisfying, ultimately fulfilling encounter that it is made out to be—if it was, all of our Moms and Dads would be walking around hand in hand with happy, goofy, lovey smiles on their faces 24/7. Sex does not fulfill our loneliness, our longing for intimacy, our sadness, our frustration, or even, sometimes, our physical desires, and I don’t think we should expect it to. In the same way, I don’t think mastubation should be considered a sin simply because it can’t replace a real, loving relationship. That’s not its purpose. It’s purpose is to provide sexual pleasure (which I do not believe is inherently evil—in or out of marriage), to allow one to get to know themselves as a sexual being, and to help one fall asleep. :) I believe that one can make a separation between the two (sexual needs vs. emotional dissatisfaction) and live a healthy sexual life without harboring unrealistic expectations of sex or of oneself.

Phew…sorry that was so long. Again, I’m sort of thinking out loud, so please let me know if anything is unclear.

Actually, I’m glad to hear that you have problem with that particular defn. of sex. Like I said, I’m not a 100% on that. It sounds a bit too high-in-the-sky, like that’s how it should be in theory, or heaven or in the Garden of Eden. Actually, I’m not sure sex was/is/will be in either one of those places, but anyway.

I agree that it’s not sex and therefore doesn’t fall under that defn. It’s not “an expression of love etc.” percisely because there is no other person to which you can express those feelings. It is a sexual act not done out of love, but purely to fulfill this “need.” But is that “need” structural or directional? (to throw in some good Phil. 201 terms.) I haven’t been able to figure that one out. The radical view of this would mean that sex is purely a product of the Fall, a misguided expression of our inability to connect with people, something we deal with in a fallen world, but not something origianally intended for us. That’s harsh, but possible. Or another view would mean that any sexual act, with one person or two (even within marriage), that is not an expression of that love/intamcy/connection or whatever, is a inappropriate expression.
I don’t know, I don’t know. These are just speculations. I think this all may be a result of suspicions that sex is a curse and not a gift, but that is probably stemming from my hormones currently raging beyond control and my inability to act on them.

Why can’t masturbation, as a sexual act, be considered just that: a fulfilling/exploration of human sexuality and needs? Does it have to take on the additional burden of satisfying emotional needs? Does masturbation have to considered an expression of loneliness or longing for a husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/soulmate/whatever or can it be what it is—just a part of our sexual being?

You could be right; maybe it is. Ok, we’re starting from different definitions of sexuality. Yours (as far as I can tell) is that sexuality is an inheirent “need” we have that apparently can exist on two levels: one, as “an expression of love blah blah blah” and two, just a need we have for no reason. I’m coming from the perspective that sexuality is a manifestation of that desire for connection with another human being. In that way sex does not “take on an additional burden of satisfying emotional needs,” rather it is product of our desire for that connection. And I wouldn’t want to use a blanket term like emotional needs because that isolation and our need for communion with other people is fundamental, I think.

And, then, what about mastubation within the confines of marriage? To define mastubation as sin based on the definition you gave would make this kind of thing sinful for married people too. Or is one, once married, suddenly allowed to throw away all of their guilt about their sexuality and romp around freely as they desire?

Within marriage, that’s another good question. Obviously it can be wrong if you are fantasizing about someone other than your spouse. You’re also throwing in “guilt about their sexuality,” which I don’t quite agree with. Performing a sinful sexual act and feeling guilty about that is not the same as feeling guilty about your sexuality.

Ok, I’m not finished, but the drudgery of factory work calls.