catapult magazine

catapult magazine

Vol 2, Num 18 :: 2003.09.26 — 2003.10.09


The process of climbing

A few months ago, I rode my bike to and from work, seven miles each
way, half of which is up and down rolling hills. It could have been a
pleasant, yet challenging ride, were it not for two things: I hadn't
exercised seriously in months and I was attempting to ride a mountain
bike on the road, leading to an inability to coast up one hill on the
momentum of the last one. On the way to work, I tried hard to convince
my aching legs they could make it. And they did. But I still had to
face the ride home.

Ironically, I treated myself halfway home to an ice cream cone. I
sat in the sun, enjoying cookie dough in a waffle cone, pretending I
was people watching, but dreading the hills that lay ahead. The worst
was yet to come.

Embarrassingly enough, I spent more time walking the bike on the way
home than I did riding it. My legs had reached that jello stage, knees,
hips, body, ready to collapse from total exhaustion. The sight of each
new hill made me feel sick, but I knew that beyond the hills lay what I
really wanted?home.

Last issue's editorial
caught me at the bottom of one of the biggest hills I've had to face so
far, petrified in the shadows of such an immense challenge. I can't
tell you I've reached the top yet, but, with help from those around me,
I've taken the first, crucial steps. We're in the initial stages of
putting together a volunteer staff to help bear some of the load of the
magazine. I've also been grateful to notice new names on the volunteer
list at the store, not to mention that our current volunteers have been
offering amazing gifts by doing the nagging things I don?t have time to
do. I am incredibly blessed, even when I don't take the time to notice

Although I love my part-time job at the church, there's still the wish that I could afford to focus on *cino
and the store without having to worry about money. But I know it is
necessary to climb these hills before I get home to where I really want
to be, spending all of my time doing what I was meant to do, writing,
teaching, and community organizing.

I want to thank those who are encouraging me on this journey,
telling me it's okay to sit by the side of the road and rest for a
while. The process is one of joyful, painful, life-changing learning.
I'm still waiting on the time and revelations that will bring me all
the way home, but I'm on my way.

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