catapult magazine

I want it, I need it, I must have it -- oh please, Uncle David!

by Nicole Carlin

In memory of David Frederick Payne 1946-2013

I want you to know Uncle David is coming (joy unbounded, cartwheels, back handsprings, excitement galore)
I (don’t) need to tell you he’s bringing a toy, taking you on a trip, playing a game, giving you TIME
But I must have you remember
I want I need I must have
Uncle David says he does not want to hear
“I want I need I must have”
Never darken his ear with a whine or a pout and
“I want I need I must have”
Instead let’s make something, build something, tell a story
I want I need I must have
His heart, a hidden wound, no children his own
I want I need I must have
Slick salesman in Manhattan back in the 1980s, he knows
I want I need I must have
But from the south, a poor man’s son, he knows, oh he knows
I want I need I must have
He patiently loved us kids (when he came back…do veterans ever truly come back?)
I want I need I must have
And then he loved our kids
I want I need I must have
A great uncle and a truly great uncle
I want I need I must have
Vietnam and Agent Orange; thieves who stole
I want I need I must have
So much from this uncle who gives so much
I want I need I must have
Whom I love so much
I want to fix it all for him
I need him a part of our lives
But I must let him go
I want I need I must have